Keiki Online
Pew Research Center reports that 95% of U.S. teens have access to a smartphone, and 1/3 are on social media almost constantly.
And while social media can be important for teens to express themselves, learn about new topics and points of view, and even support positive connections, there are also real risks, such as:
Interrupted sleep
Misinformation
Replacing real-life interaction
Exposure to harmful content and people
Increased risk for mental health problems with 3+ hours of daily use
By learning about these social media platforms, and the tools we have to lessen their risks, we can promote healthy online behaviors for our keiki and families.
When are keiki ready for social media?
Young children can be at a higher risk for poor sleep habits, cyberbullying, and body issues when they begin using social media before turning 13-years-old.
It’s generally safer to wait until teen years to allow social media, but all teens are different, and some may be ready sooner than others.
Your teen might be ready for social media when they:
Demonstrate critical thinking about what they see online.
Have an open, trusting relationship with you.
Respect your family’s rules and boundaries.
Understand internet safety and privacy.
Have coping skills for when they’re feeling upset.
Are confident and don’t feel the need to compare themselves to others.
Sources: American Academy of Pediatrics, The Kids Mental Health Foundation
Setting healthy boundaries
Have you ever noticed that social media feeds don’t end anymore? Or that apps are trying to send you more and more notifications? That’s because social media platforms are designed to keep you online.
To help keiki build healthy social media boundaries, you can try one of these strategies to build positive habits together.
Making technology rules for the entire household, for example:
No devices during meals or family time.
Put away phones one hour before bedtime.
In-person social time with peers every weekend.
Daily screen time limits.
Parental controls on all devices.
Exploring social media apps together, and asking critical questions, like:
How does this app work?
Why do you think it’s designed this way?
Who benefits from this?
What do you want to use social media for?
What settings can we use to get the best experience on this app?
Source: HealthyChildren.org
Harmful people & content
There are dangerous people who use social media, chat rooms, and even gaming platforms to gain children’s trust and harm them. Starting talks about internet safety topics early can build safe habits and trust between you and your child.
Some topics can include:
Never sharing passwords, addresses, or personal information online.
Explaining that what they post sticks around on the internet.
Not trusting people they meet online.
Blocking, muting, and other privacy features.
Talking about grooming and why they should never send inappropriate pictures or messages online.
Making a plan to follow if they see inappropriate content, like looking away and telling an adult.
Assuring them that even if there are inappropriate pictures of them on the internet, whether real or “deepfaked,” it’s not too late to tell a trusted adult and get help.
Above all, ensuring your kids know they can talk to you about what they see online.
Sources: U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Department of Justice
AI & misinformation
We know that most teens are using Artificial Intelligence (AI) chatbots, or Large Language Models (LLMs) like ChatGPT, Character.ai, or Gemini. Similar AI-supported features are also being rapidly added to social media platforms. The top reasons teens use AI are to search for information, get help with school assignments, or for entertainment.
But using AI poses some unique risks compared to social media:
Many young people use AI for emotional support, but these models are not made for this purpose and are not safe to be used in this way.
LLMs are used by many as a replacement for human connection, although the American Psychological Association warns, “excessive use of these tools may worsen loneliness and erode social skills.”
LLMs are known to hallucinate and at times present biased information, so they cannot be trusted as 100% factual.
AI companies often use user conversations and data to train their models, so conversations should not be trusted as fully private.
To reduce these risks, parents can set boundaries on AI use, learn more about different AI companies and their privacy features, and talk to keiki to establish:
LLMs are not a replacement for human connection or emotional support.
We need to double check and think critically about the information we receive from AI.
It’s important to develop research, writing, and analysis skills without the help of AI.
Private information should not be shared online, and that includes sharing with AI bots.
Keiki can be more susceptible to believing and spreading false information online, and AI is only making it harder to tell what’s real or fake. Watching content together with your children and talking about media literacy is a great way to help them be critical about the messages they see online.
You might ask questions like:
How did this make you feel?
Who made this?
Why did they make this?
Who is this for?
What details or perspectives were left out?
How do we know if this is true or not?
Sources: American Psychological Association, Children and Screens, Common Sense Media, Pew Research Center
The Bottom Line
Have conversations with your children about technology early and frequently.
The more comfortable they feel sharing with you, the more you can do to keep them healthy and safe.
It’s a lot of information to take in, but there are many trustworthy resources that help to learn how we can keep keiki safe online:
Technology Health & Safety Resources
Websites:
Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health: a centralized, trusted source for evidence-based education and technical assistance to support the mental health of children and adolescents as they navigate social media.
Common Sense Media: a nonprofit that puts kids' safety and well-being first in the digital era. Parental resources include information and research on digital literacy and technology, and ratings and recommendations for popular books, movies, and more.
HealthyChildren.org: the only parenting website backed by 67,000 pediatricians—the American Academy of Pediatrics. Learn from media articles on topics including digital advertising, AI, social media, online gambling, and resources for addressing these topics with your keiki.
Know 2 Protect: a U.S. Department of Homeland Security campaign to educate and empower kids, teens, parents, trusted adults and policymakers to prevent and combat online child sexual exploitation and abuse (CSEA); explain how to report online enticement and victimization; and offer response and support resources for victims and survivors of online child sexual exploitation and their supporters.
StopBullying.gov: provides information from various government agencies on what bullying is, what cyberbullying is, who is at risk, and how you can prevent and respond to bullying.
Reports:
American Psychological Association Health Advisory: Social media use in adolescence
U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health