Empowering Keiki

Our 2025 Children’s Mental Health Acceptance campaign is all about Empowering Keiki to take charge of their mental health and educating caregivers on how to best support them.

Keiki feel empowered when they can share stories, opinions, and experiences with one another, and give and receive support. But that isn’t always as easy as it sounds.

Some challenges can include:

  • Feeling scared or ashamed about sharing their thoughts.

  • Not knowing how to support their friends through tough times.

  • Finding an adult who they feel safe to talk to about tough topics.

Keep scrolling to learn how we can move past these issues to empower our keiki.

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Making Keiki Comfortable Sharing

Expressing our emotions is an important part of caring for our mental health. We can get through life easier when we learn to recognize our emotions, express them, and meet the need of the emotion.

We can express emotions in many ways, like art, movement, and writing. Talking to someone about our feelings is a great way to let out our emotions and build connections that can help us through our hardest times.

Sharing our feelings can:

  • Strengthen emotional regulation skills

  • Promote success in school

  • Make it easier to make friends

Even though sharing our feelings can help us release feelings of shame, many of us still struggle to talk about our feelings.

Maybe we’re afraid of how someone will react. Maybe we feel like we’re being a bother.

But it’s so important to know that everybody goes through difficult times, and you probably know many people who are struggling or have struggled with their mental health. The idea that you’re alone in your feelings is what can make sharing them scary, but it’s just not true!

You can talk to:

  • Trusted friends and family

  • Other trusted adults like teachers or coaches

  • School supports like counselors or behavioral health specialists

  • Mental health professionals

  • And even if you don’t feel like talking to anyone in your life, you can use a free, anonymous, 24/7 helpline like Hawai‘i CARES 988 via call, text, or chat.

How to Support Peers

When your keiki knows how to support a friend through a hard time, they can build strong social bonds and feel empowered to handle their own emotions in healthy ways.

See these slides below for more info on how to be a positive support to friends.

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How to Be a Good Listener and Supportive Adult

“Research shows that the most important thing a child needs to be resilient is a stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult.”
— Former U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy M.D., 2021 Protecting Youth Mental Health Advisory

Youth who have at least one trusted adult tend to experience positive outcomes like:

  • Less risk-taking behavior

  • Higher self-esteem

  • More motivation to succeed in school and other activities

  • Improved physical and mental health

But many children avoid talking to their parents about their feelings because they are afraid of how they’ll react. By learning how to be better listeners, we can show our keiki that we are safe adults who can help with processing scary feelings.

Do’s

  • Sometimes they need to be comforted before they feel like talking. Sometimes they might want some space or to show how they feel through drawing. Giving keiki room to express themselves uniquely builds trust and emotional intelligence.  

  • Sometimes keiki want advice, sometimes they just want someone to listen. If you have some ideas or resources that might be helpful, ask permission before offering.

  • Stop other activities, make eye contact, and, for smaller keiki, get down on their level.

  • Clarify and ask follow-up questions using their words. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling upset about what your friend said to you.”

  • Help keiki feel like they are seen and heard, and that their feelings are normal.

  • Thank keiki for telling you how they feel and encourage them to continue to express themselves.

  • As an adult, it’s okay to admit that you don’t have all the answers. However, if a kid or teen asks you something, you should make every effort to find an answer or someone who can help.

  • Whether you commit to check in again or connect keiki to resources, be consistent and reliable in your follow-up.

  • In some situations, like when someone is being hurt or is in danger, engaging proper resources is necessary. If your keiki expresses suicidal thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, call or text 988. In an emergency call 911.

Don’ts

  • Phrases like, “don’t worry about that” or “that won’t matter in the long run” might come from a place of caring but can make keiki feel ashamed about their real feelings.

  • It’s normal to have concerns about how your keiki thinks or feels, but it’s important that you avoid criticism when your child is trying to be vulnerable with you.

  • Try your best to understand your keiki’s feelings in their own words. Avoid sharing personal experiences without permission.

  • Let keiki take the lead when they open up to you. Adding your own thoughts can make them feel like they’re getting lectured instead of supported.

  • Be patient. People express themselves at different times and in different ways, and keiki are no different.

  • Keiki don’t all cope with things the same way, so comparing them to peers or siblings can come off as dismissive instead of helpful.

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